RAOK and BHH
by lassenri
Summary: Harry's childhood wasn't bad at all. In fact it was rather good. All thanks to several R.A.O.K and B.H.H. Magic was unsurprising, Harry's fame non existent and with a rather pathetic Dark Lord making his schooling funny rater than stressful, Harry is in store for a good life. Hogwarts be warned! Hufflepuff Harry. Slytherin Draco. Ravenclaw Tom. Gryffindor Dudley. Harry/Tom.
1. Fathers day

**I DONT OWN HARRY POTTER**

It was cold and dark. Petunia looked up at the sky as rain hit her face and arms. She could no longer feel her legs under the weight of the fallen scaffolding. The girl tried again to yell for help but no sound reached her ears; she didn't have enough air in her lungs and felt as though she was drowning in the rubble.

 _I'm scared! Please, someone help me!_

Suddenly the weight was lifted and thrown into a heap a few meters away. Petunia took a deep breath despite the pain in her chest and, with air in her lungs, yelled.

"It's ok! Shh! Shh. Stay calm. I'm right here. Nothings gonna harm you now. Your safe."

Petunia felt herself being lifted carefully and looked up.

"Snape? Lilly?" Was all she could say before she passed out.

oOoHPoOo

The girl woke up in a white room with her family looking down at her. When they saw her awake, they took a collecting sight of relief and sat down.

Lilly and Petunia's parents talked and talked but Petunia didn't listen. She was looking at her sister, whom she had hated for a few years now. Who she had bullied and called a freak for years. Who she now looked upon and felt tears of gratitude fall from her eyes.

Lilly grabbed her sisters hand and gently kissed the dainty fingers before smiling and dropping her head.

"Thank you..." Petunia whispered.

"Sev was the one who found you... I just helped with the spell..."

"Thank him for me then... I think. I would have died. I know I would have died..."

oOoHPoOo

Vernon loved his Petunia, and so when she had finally come back to school after an accident he had demanded the full story; and he got it. The next time he saw the sister and the weirdo, he thanked them profusely, and ended up crying on the weirdo's shoulder, much to the others distaste. On the day Petunia became Petunia Dursley; Severus, Lilly and James (Whom Petunia thought was a Twit-Badger that didn't deserve to breath the same air as her sister - something her and Severus agreed on) sat at the front.

oOoHPoOo

Severus twisted and twisted, his hand tense and saw but his mind never loosing track of the carefully calculated number. Dumbledore stood close and made sure his college was in the right place for the call back.

"Ok... Its done."

"Remember... You only have a week. Don't be late. Be right where I told you to be... I don't want either of you left behind" The headmaster said before Severus vanished.

oOoHPoOo

"Tom?"

"Wes?"

"What do you say?"

"Far away? With owers... like me?"

"With others like you" Severus agreed with the boy and held out his hand. "And two brothers who are dying to meet you"

"I... I like that"

The child, no older than four reached up and smiled.

oOoHPoOo

Petunia held her little nephew on the doorstep and cried. A neighbour watched her from a lit window but the woman could not care less. Vernon coaxed her inside to where he could watch her and his son, who was watching his mother and unconscious cousin with worry. Severus arrived a few minutes later and Petunia welcomed him in like a brother.

"I couldn't... I tried to..."

"They died instantly right? They weren't in pain where they? The..." Petunia stuttered between sobs.

"The truck was large and fast... they probably didn't even see it coming..."

The man stayed for a week before leaving with a promise to visit and help with little Harry Dursley as he would be called.

2 years later

when the boys where all six or turning six

"Dudwy" Little harry giggled as his cousin chased him. Tag was their favourite game by far, and though Vernon warned them to be careful, they would still scratch themselves from falling.

Dudley easily caught his cousin and immediately turned and ran the other way.

Severus sat with his honorary brother in law and sipped at is coffee.

"Why don't you go join the others, Tom?" The wizard asked, looking at the boy sitting on the floor.

"I don't like tag. Besides... You both aren't keeping a close enough eye on them. Someone has to be wesponsible"

Vernun chuckled and took a sip of beer. "You're all the same age, you should go and have fun!"

"THAT is hardwy what I would caw fun!" Tom chuffed, trying to sound sophisticated despite his childish speech.

A sudden yell followed by a string of curses ran from the kitchen.

"You blundering fool! How could even you even make a mistake like THAT!"

"I'd like to see you do a better job!"

"Griffendore!"

"Is that supposed to be an insult, Snake?!"

The yelling continued as the door softly opened and Remus walked in. "Are those two at each other again?" He giggled and sat at the table with the other three.

"Such is tradition" Severus sighed.

An arguing Lucius and Sirius stormed into the room with plates of food in their arms and their long hair tied back.

"Everyone knows you put the sugar in third! Not fourth!"

"Draco" Remus walked over to a boy in green robes who was half inside a cupboard. "What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna scare Harry!"

"Going to, Draco. Not 'gonna'." Lucius corrected in a brief pause from his argument with Sirius.

oOoHPoOo

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, a group of women relaxed in the warmth of a spar with their hair and skin being treated and cool glasses of fruit juice soothing their throats. Petunia laughed as Narcissa impersonated Lucius before both women ganged up on poor Tonks.

"I told you! Its not like that! We only moved in together so he would have a proper place to stay." The younger yelled before blushing.

"What a very kind thing to do! So noble! Especially if he really is only a friend, as you say." Narcissa chuckled.

"You must be VERY good friends indeed!" Petunia said.

Tonks spluttered and lowered herself deeper into the water to hide the lower part of her face.

"I love fathers day!" Narcissa sighed as she took a sip and leaned back.


	2. A slytherin at work

Harry sat on Remus' lap in the optometrist's waiting room before a small round woman called them in. She was nice, and always hugged Harry whenever she saw him, but she had too many dogs, both in real life and in pictures, to be considered healthy.

"Thank you for doing this, Marge" Remus smiled.

"Anything for one of my beautiful nephews!" She sang.

Harry was sat in a chair and told to look through various lenses and to say which one he could see better with. While he answered, the adults talked about how Uncle Vernon wasn't able to come but that he was still expecting her over next week, and how Marge wished she had Severus for a neighbor since he had done wonders for Vernon and Dudley's weight problems with his _no nonsense_ attitude.

Harry was having a hard time not listening to them so when he was told to pick out a frame he was relieved. He had wanted to pick round ones that looked like Santa's but Remus, having been lectured by Severus earlier about carbon copies and too similar similarities, lured the child to a similar but more rectangle style.

"Its a good thing you came when you did, another year or so and it would be permanent glasses rather than just reading. Remember though, and tell my brother, that he must wear them _whenever_ he reads, writes, draws, watches TV, and ALWAYS when he is in class. I'll send off a spare just in case one's lost"

Remus nodded and paid, silently thanking whatever holy deity was watching over him for Harry's family discount.

 **oOoHPoOo**

5 YEARS LATER

"What do you mean' Just walk right through'?" Petunia whispered harshly to the witch next to her.

"To get to the platform, you walk through that wall there." Narcissa said pointing to the seemingly normal brickwork. The mothers continued on like that for a few minutes before Severus got board. With an exuberant sigh, he gently pushed the four boys forward and through the wall, closely followed by a laughing Lucius and Vernon.

"Recon they'll follow" Vernon asked.

"Once they realize we've gone through" Lucius huffed.

The group, having arrived early, sat themselves down on a bench and watched as other early comers ran trough various walls from other cities and counties to get to the platform.

Dudley grew bored and began practicing every punch, block and kick he could think of.

"You look like an idiot!" Draco snorted only to receive a small smack from his father. Dudley didn't care and continued. Harry giggled and began swinging his legs under him. Being rather small for his age had many disadvantages, but the perks where well worth it, not that he had any say in his height mind , he was constantly treated like he was too young to make any decisions or was so fragile he needed to be wrapped in bubble wrap; but by that same note he could behave a lot younger than he was and get free things from adults who thought he was cute, and whenever he acted his age everyone thought he was just the _smartest little cookie_ who was so mature and _intellectual_. Of coarse, Tom, Draco and Dudley always though it was hilarious whenever this happened and would have to leave the aria in order to laugh.

Petunia and Nacissa walked over and simultaneously began to cry with rivers of snot flowing from their petite noses. Grabbing the four young boys, the mothers began instructing them on how to eat, dress, behave, to follow the rules, to send lots of letters and be well behaved.

Goodbyes went far too quickly and soon the four boys where on the train ready to go. The express made a loud whistling noise before, with slow chuffs, left the station. The Dursleys followed the Malfoys back to their manor where the group intended to have a nice dinner, leaving Severus to apperate to Hogsmeade as to arrive at the school well before the students.

 **oOoHPoOo**

"You ready?"Draco whispered.

"I still don't see why I have to do this" Harry replied.

"Because I'm saving up for a two headed goat and I don't want to spend any money where I can avoid it, and the lunch dad gave me is some trendy health vomit with seaweed and god knows what else!"

"Why don't I just pay for you?"

"No Harry! That's your hard earned money and I refuse to take it."

Harry sighed but nodded, though he didn't agree with his friend, he would help him.

"This is the last time though!" With that, Harry crept down the carriage with his hunger sound maker and all of his acting experience when dealing with 'old' people.

He started small. Sniffling and peering through windows. None of the other students thought to 'help him' which was good. Small tears began to fall from his eyes and by the time the trolley woman saw him he was sitting on the floor crying. Harry only hoped his friends acted their parts too, otherwise he would have to improvise.

"Oh! Whats wrong poppet?" She said, squatting down to his level.

"I can't find my brothers! We got separated in the crowd and now they're gone!" Harry said in his cutest voice before bursting into tears again.

"Two blond boys and a black hared boy?" She asked. Harry nodded and sniffed.

"They're down that way dear, near the front. Worried sick too, so you'd better hurry!"

Harry nodded and stood before subtly pressing the hunger noise maker. The noise was loud, but quiet enough to seem normal. Harry rubbed his tummy and looked like he was about to cry again. The trolley woman cooed at his cuteness before giving him a handful of lollies and a small lunch pack.

"Our little secret" She said, touching the tip of her nose, before walking on to the next compartment.

Harry skipped the whole way back to his friends and handed the winnings over to a pleased Draco, who split the lollies among the four.

"Oh! Dear woman have you seen my little brother? I fear he is hurt or worse! We can't find him! Oh! Please, have you seen our brother?" Dudley said in a ridiculous accent with his hand to his forehead and leaning back. The boys laughed at the overplay until their door was opened by a girl. She was looking for a toad, or so she had said, that another first year boy had lost. The four said no, but with some prompting from Harry, agreed to help her look.

And so the train ride came to an end with a group of several tired students and a still lost toad.

 **Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think so far, I would appreciate it.**


End file.
